Presidential Debate Drinking Games

in progress...

final list will include the following words/phrases:

"change"
"My friends"
"um"

also under consideration:

blinking
moving of top lip (or lack thereof)
awkward smiles

Try this at home! Just not in public.

(Editor's note-- The last we heard from our correspondents, they were concocting a drink to be quaffed whenever someone used the word "existential." We never heard from them again)

Nope, That Upper Lip Still Ain't Movin'

... but what's up with that left eye?

(not to mention the declaration of victory before the thing's even started)

Terrifying Video

No, we're not talking about the naked man tumbling to his death after being stun-gunned. We're talking the interview with the woman who would be a heartbeat away from the presidency-- and a weak one at that. We are wary of "misunderestimating" her because she is a woman, because she talks like a character from Fargo, because she is religulous, but oh... (y)our... god...

Palin talks Russia

and we quote:

"Our next door neighbors are foreign countries. They're in the state that I am the executive of."

"It's very important when you consider even national security issues with Russia as Putin rears his head and comes into the air space of the United States of America, where-- where do they go? It's Alaska. It's just right over the border. It is-- from Alaska that we send those out to make sure that an eye is being kept on this very powerful nation, Russia, because they are right there. They are right next to-- to our state."

Katie Couric said that Palin seemed confident. You ask us-- she seemed terrified.

Good vs. Evil (Redux)

Israel = the good guys

Iran = the bad guys

Bring out the toy soldiers!

warning: the following video is rather disturbing and should be watched with caution by anyone with any notion of geopolitical complexity

"It is obvious to me who the good guys are in this one and who the bad guys are. The bad guys are the ones who say Israel is a stinking corpse and should be wiped off the face of the earth. That's not a good guy who is saying that. Now, one who would seek to protect the good guys in this, the leaders of Israel and her friends, her allies, including the United States. In my world, those are the good guys."

Hey Palin, what about the Palestinians? Are they the bad guys too?

(Our editor's humble suggestion-- she should have stayed in her (little) world)

We're Not the Only One(s)...

Even the National Review is weighing in...

We Are All Parrotheads

Lipstick on the (Chauvinist) Pig

We aren't generally a fan of women ranting about sexism and unfair treatment, but Campbell Brown does have a point. Are little girls watching campaign coverage and saying, "Maybe I can grow up to run for vice president someday and get shielded from the tough questions because I am a woman?"

"Are they going to suppress my roar?"

The World Isn't Ending-- Yet

Check back tomorrow.

The Financial Crisis

No jokes here-- that sh** ain't funny.

Bill Gates is a Mutant

OK, we're not exactly going out on a limb here. But with all the fuss being made about Microsoft's latest ad being pulled, most of which implied that it was because of the inclusion of Jerry Seinfeld, a.k.a. "sitcom-star-from-the-nineties-read-bridge-to-the-twentieth-century," we wonder how many folks actually watched the ad. Gates looks like he crawled out from under a rock-- no, that he is still under a rock, and still only seeing the daylight in his peripheral vision. He does what we previously thought impossible-- he makes Jerry Seinfeld appear healthy.

Irrelevant-in-Chief

Two thoughts:

1. Where is Bush amidst all this mess?

2. How can we get him to stay there?

Bush's presidency is probably best summed up by a comment Dennis Ross made last night. Granted, it was concerning Middle East policy, but could just as easily apply here:

"You can't have a president who doesn't know the issue at all."

It's the Stupid Economy

Yep, the walls of Rome are tumbling down. The only upside all this is that it has clearly swung the momentum back to Obama. McCain, the self-described "Deregulator," just ain't the man for these times. And Palin...

Finite Jest

David Foster Wallace is dead. Up until his final gesture, he did what we wanted to do. We recommend his take on John McCain during the 2000 election (back when he had a soul).

May he rest in postmodernist peace.

What?

... did Lehman Brothers say something? We're sorry, we weren't paying attention.

(Editor's note-- Uh, they use to be E.F. Hutton... never mind)

Fire Sale

Sold-- Merrill Lynch, to Bank of America for $50 billion

Lehman Brothers-- Bankrupt.

Kudos to the Federal Reserve and the Treasury for letting one fall. Hold onto your horses, livestock, and spare change.

The Wave, the Look, the Voice...

As we previously alluded, Tina Fey is Sarah Palin... except that she is possibly more qualified to be president.

The 100% Truth Test

McCain's recent ads have failed it, according to none other than Karl Rove.

Kim Jung be Illin'

at least there's a successor lined up... um... at least we have extra troops just in case it gets chaotic over there... um...

Surge Overkill

Let's face it, folks, the surge has been "working"-- so far. Here's some other developments, however, that deserve their share of the credit:

1. The "Anbar Awakening"-- Sunni tribal leaders built local security forces in Anbar province.

2. Moktada al-Sadr drew down the Mahdi Army.

3. JSOC (Joint Special Operations Command)-- used "collaborative warfare" to track down al-Quaeda members.

To quote President Bush, "JSOC is awesome."

courtesy of da Post

Beyond Our Wildest Dreams

“I think that the surge has succeeded in ways that nobody anticipated. I’ve already said it’s succeeded beyond our wildest dreams.”

--Barack Obama, as quoted by, gulp, Fox News

While some have criticized Obama for these comments, we see them as a refreshing sign that Obama is not putting politics ahead of "victory" or at the least the "facts on the ground," which have dramatically improved, no matter which way you smoke them. Our wish all along has been that we want the man to win-- but not if it requires him to sell his entire soul.

(Editor's note: of course, some others' wildest dreams might have involved a heavily-armed Sarah Palin parachuting in alongside Chuck Norris...)

One Question for Sarah Palin

We would like to ask Sarah Palin the exact question posed in the May 3rd, 2007, Republican debate:

“Do you believe in evolution?”

According to a NYT source, “The churches that Sarah has attended all believe in a literal translation of the Bible.”

As we asked in an earlier posting, this question would be shorthand for the following:

“As vice president, if you were presented with concrete evidence that went against the faith-based scenario you had conjured up in your mind, would this affect your judgment of the situation or the actions you would take?”

Check out our original post: (Dis)Qualifying Questions (Aug. 14, 2007)

Lipstick on Dogsh**

No elaboration needed.

Saving Our Fannie

Word today that the government (in the name of us taxpayers) is planning to take over Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac (brother of Bernie), the mortgage giants. Ya gotta do what ya gotta do, we say. The idea that any of these quasi-privatized government entities were going to be allowed to fail was ludicrous, both in terms of national reputation and the effect on the overall economy.

But what was John McCain calling for in the RNC?

DE-REG-U-LATION.

... but where did they come up with those freakin' names?

Fannie Mae = Federal National Mortgage Association

Freddie Mac = Federal Home Mortgage Corporation

both established as "government-sponsored enterprises" in 1968.

courtest of an intern at the History News Network

Our Friends--

If we ever hear a certain politician utter the words "my friends" again, we'll head-butt the TV.

A Washington Post article confirmed what we have long abhored-- especially ironic in an auditorium packed with folks who hate him.

VPILF

According to Internet traffic, if elected, Sarah Palin will start a new category (no offense to Spiro T. Agnew).

White Elephants

Only 36 of the 2,380 Republican delegates seated on the convention floor are black.

Our question is, where did they find the 36?

What's With the Safety Glasses?

Weekend Update will never be the same.