Obama To Be Tested...

by Israel.

It's pretty clear to us that Israel unleashed its latest disproportionate response in order to take advantage of the waning moments (22 days?) of the Bush administration's "everything-Israel-does-is-right" policy (see: Lebanon, 2006)... which also dares Obama to reverse such a policy right off the bat and make all the anti-Islamist/ anti-"other" fearmongers' worst misrepresentations come true.

Nobody said this was going to be easy.

Hard Diplomacy

Seems that the "Company" is seeking to win more than hearts and minds-- and is using Viagra to do so.

(Editor's note-- for once, that default "link" color actually makes sense)

Merry Anti-Christmas!

in celebration of the victory of Barack Obama, a.k.a. the Antichrist.

Christmas Muzak

Ironically, while we despise basically all vocalized Christmas music along with the overtheatrical wailing that usually accompanies it, we have to agree with Jessi Klein over at The Daily Beast-- we actually have a soft spot for, of all people, Mariah Carey.

Smoke 'em If You Got 'em

And for those of you concerned about the possibility of documented doobage: Andrea Mitchell has since clarified that that tabacky w'ain't wacky.

(Editor's note-- although the president-elect-to-be's eyes suggest that that did take place off-camera)

Stop the Coronation!

Why isn't this dead in the water already? This is not the Austro-Hungarian empire-- even the Hapsburgs need to be elected. It's scary to say this, but-- Sarah Palin is more qualified to be senator than Caroline Kennedy. Heck, so is Tina Fey. cK's welcome to run for the position, but really, until Blago actually collects a check, this whole business is seedier and less democratic than what is going on in Illinois.

Duck Duck Bush

See the latest shoe bomber here.

The Betty Page

RIP to the rarity-- a 1940s pinup whose appeal crossed generations (from the Greatest to, uh, whatever ours is).

Guess Who Came to Dinner?

If you're Condi, it was, uh, Hillary. Mushroom soup, sea bass, and wild rice were on the menu at Chez Rice, located in the, uh, Watergate.

culled from an interview on the Daily Beast (our choice for best web-zine title)

Bad Hair Day

To appropriate John Stewart, the man clearly has something to hide... on his forehead.

Princess Kennedy?

Perhaps.

Senator (Caroline) Kennedy?

No.

Guess Who's Back?

Shinseki's back... brilliant!

Rethinking Hillary

Now, we still don't like the idea of having her in the cabinet, but have heard some convincing rationale for doing so:

Well, it means that Hillary Clinton has just moved from having an independent power base in the Senate to being in effect an employee of Barack Obama. And not just any employee, but one who has had to open her files to Barack Obama.

Just imagine the scene of the Obama people going through the Clinton files and saying, "Wow, this could be embarrassing if anybody ever found out about it. Don't worry, it's safe with us."

He has just cemented his enormous power over her, and the sentimental idea out there that he's reaching for a rival and padding the dust off her and bringing her into a Cabinet to be his rival -- no, he's putting her into his Cabinet in order to control her. It's a pretty impressive display of tough politics.
--David Frum on CNN

Anti-Christmas

With all these folks thinking that Obama is the Antichrist, we proposed, within our own family, to celebrate Anti-Christmas this year. Wethinks this might start a trend...

Spread the wealth around, people!

... although

he may be about to appoint her to his cabinet.

Pit Bull With Glasses

The Loneliest Man in the Room

(on BushTube)

Hitler (Really) Only Had One Ball,

(according to the UK's Telegraph)

... all together now!

Mussolini Had None at All

Word of the Day

monorchic (mon-OR-kik): the possession of solely one testicle

What's With the Rubber Boots?

We see lots of young co-eds sporting them these days. As for us, they bring back unpleasant memories of blisters and chafing in the jungles of northern Peten, Guatemala. Maybe we are just out of touch-- we are, after all, twice as old as some of them now.

(Gulp.)

Or, in an interrelated possibility, maybe we are at the point where we actually look at women's feet. We never used to make it that far down.

(Editor's note-- like everything else, this appears to be more about... us)

... or the Rolled-Up Pant Leg on Slightly Effeminate Males?

with low-cut Chuck Ts? Saw two of 'em this morning in the university co-op. Not exactly gangsta.

What to do With This Lieber Man?

At first, we thought Obama should stay out of the fray and let the Congressional Dems flay him as they may. But now, we see an opportunity. President-elect Obama should see this as a prime opportunity to show his willingness to reach across (and back around) the aisle AND demonstrate magnanimity (thanks, dictionary.com) in victory.

What better way to set the tone for his administration? It will seem brilliant in hindsight.

Leaning Towards Gommorah

Is it our imagination, or is "our" president leaning to the left here... towards socialism?

Or is it just that ol' magnetic pull of Big Oil?

First State Mate

Word on the street is that Hillary is under consideration for Secretary of State-- while we appreciate the reaching-across-the-steaming-cauldron here, we'd advise again' it. The word "power-hungry" comes to mind, even before you factor in the spouse. In the words of the irascible John Bolton, who usually only offers tone-deaf angry blasts of neo-conservatism:

“Obama should remember the rule that you never hire anybody you can’t fire, especially as secretary of state.”

instead,

he should choose Bill Richardson (though this may be seen as another finger in the Clinton eye).

(Editor's note-- "Clinton Eye"... hmmm, we should get Tina Turner to sing the theme song)

Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeere's Condi!

Choosing Your Next Cabinet-- Unsolicited Advice for the President-Elect

1. Avoid IKEA... even with the free breakfast.

2. As far as the Treasury goes, skip on Summers... some people (read: Hillary supporters) aren't going to forget his comments on women, math, & science. Stay with the generation thing, and further separate yourself from the Clintonistas-- by going with someone like the prez of the Fed Reserve bank in NY, Timothy Geitner, for instance.

It might make sense to hold onto Gates, too-- amidst all the smoke and mirrors, Bush & co. have actually developed some sensible policies that shouldn't be swept away.

3. Hold off on the drapes for now.

Good Cop, Bad Cop

In other words, President-elect Obama has chosen Rahm Emanuel as chief of staff... which shows his practical side. We were never impressed by Emmanuel's ability to put words together, but his comments on accepting this job have given us some faith. The fact that he's another young skinny guy with an ethnic-sounding name doesn't hurt either.

Flashback

December 30, 2007

While we are a little uncomfortable with the way we closed our argument that a black man should be president with a basketball analogy, our position still stands. We suppose, however, that our mention of Joe Biden doesn't constitute an endorsement of him as VP.

(original post here)

The Case for Obama
With the caucuses (cauci?) only a few days away, we figured we'd better make our endorsement official. Our reasoning is as follows:

1. Hey, you got the first mainstream African-American who is articulate and bright and clean and a nice-looking guy...

(Editor's note-- wait a minute-- we don't want to plagiarize Joe Biden (of all people). Let us give it another shot-- we promise not to use the word "articulate")

1. Comes in without baggage or allegiances (read: no fathers/husbands to avenge, family legacies to polish, Vietnam War experiences/lack thereof to explain, Civil Rights experiences to retaliate for)

2. Admitted he inhaled because "that was the point."

3. Best arguments are the ones most criticized (would talk to enemies, would care for victims of terrorism before bombing random Arab country).

4. His obligatory follow-ups in which he is forced to say that he would bomb some country into sand in retaliation can be taken as just that, and not as his "gut reaction."

5. Only major Democrat with any credibility on the War in Iraq, having opposed it from the beginning.

6. His face alone would send a huge message to the rest of the world about who/what America is (and isn't).

7. His name might further confuse terrorists.

8. Doesn't come across as a used-car salesman

9. Presumably his haircuts cost less than $400 (see above)

10. Doesn't sound like Suze Orman (read: doesn't shout at you... unless the vibe calls for it)

(also see above)

11. That Monday Night Football ad (DUN-DUN-DUN!), and the fact that he only roots for one city.

12. Has got "game," at least according to the Sports Illustrated columnist over whom he drained a jumper after being told it was "for the presidency."


Oh, and the fact that as a black man, believe it or not, he bears a better chance of winning the undecideds/independents than a woman who is disdained by women who make the cookies... and those who disdain them for it, and a white Southerner who has reinvented himself as a populist taking on Wall Street... while living in a 28,000-square-foot mansion.

(Editor's note-- We do realize that our values might not coincide with those of the average Iowan...)

Deja View

Our first reference to "President Obama" (still a bit audacious at the time)

...because AT LEAST I know I'm free

***********************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************

Yippee Ki Yay, Mother F***ers

Oh, yes, we motherf***ing can!

Winning in Dixie

er, DixVILLE-- Notch, that is, in New Hampshire... the first Dem to do so since 1968.

Give McCain Credit--

In the end, he would rather lose the election than lose all his dignity (and exploit racial fears), as witnessed by his refusal to exploit the Rev. Jeremiah Wright as a campaign issue. In PA, they aired an ad that could have been the central thrust of his campaign-- but now, on the heels of Ayers and the Palestinian Prof, seems like a last, desperate appeal. At least before the economy redefined the campaign, the issue could have ultimately been the game-changer with the undecided independents who, while not "racist" in the traditional sense, are wary of black over-entitlement.

link to CNN article on PA Republican Party ad

In the end, McCain has lost a lot of his gravitas, but this point should-- nay, must-- be remembered.

Blowout

Don't want to jinx this thing, but wethinks Obama is going to win handily. He's peaking just at the right time...

Obama's Cabinet

Politico today listed possibilities for Obama's cabinet... including Rahm Emanuel, who, whenever we've heard him talk, has sounded like a moron. Why is this guy so well-respected?

We say: Daschle as Chief of Staff, Susan Rice as NSA (we've heard good things about her)... We'd like to see Hagel somewhere, though Sec'y of Defense might be out of his league? We say, Colin Powell, both because we trust him and we'd like to piss Rummy off.

The Sofia Coppola of Politics

... that would be Ms. Palin (if you're nasty).

Remember "Godfather III," when Francis Ford got his baby daughter to replace Winona Ryder for the lead? And she stunk the place up? Made you realize that these other schmucks musta had some talent because they sure as hell sounded a lot more natural than her? That's where we're at, people.

In all fairness to Sofia, she came into her own later. But at that point, she simply was not ready...

Cheney Lite

"[T]hey’re in charge of the U.S. Senate so if they want to they can really get in there with the senators and make a lot of good policy changes that will make life better for Brandon and his family and his classroom."

Sarah Palin's answer to a third grader's question.

Just in case you were wondering, that game show is called "Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader."

Intelligent Design

One Thousand Words

In Brugge

And, oh yes, he was in Brugge-- although he did not climb any towers.

Waxing Poetic

Our Man in Brussels is currently culling his notes, desperately seeing to emerge from a Franco-Flemish haze of hops, barley, mussels, and frites and make sense of the reams of notes he penned in a desperate attempt to stay awake during day-long roundtable monologues and discussions. He does recall asking a member of the Human Rights Commission, who had just explained the EU crackdown on torture devices, such as gallows and whips, how this was going to effect the S&M industry.

The response was, it seems, unclear.

Our Waterloo

A transcript of first contact with our Man in Brussels. He has touched down and is currently preparing for an afternoon nap in the Brussels suburb of Waterloo. We are hoping he fares better than Napoleon.

Oy!

[We] have made it to Brussels... despite little sleep on the plane (some probably due to the fact that US Air and not Lufthansa was in charge of the flight and thus was CHARGING for ALCOHOL AND FREAKIN' EARPHONES), had a good morning exploring Brussels streets, chocolatiers, and cheesemongers with the Xxxxxxxxs (Ma and Pa's German buddies) after a nice big breakfast. Yet to have any of the local sprouts.

Got a nap in and am now 99%, which is good because [we are] going to have to represent the USA in the Wine Olympics tonight and stand no chance of winning.

Brussels Bound

Just a heads-up that our lead correspondent will be/ was in Brussels for the next/past week (depending on where you are on the time-space continuum), hob-nobbing with the EU and seeing what they can do to help shore-up his investment account.

Apparently, not much.

(Editor's note-- No, Jim from Arkansas, "hob-nobbing" does not mean what you implied it did)

(Editor's redux- er, um, not as far as we know... he has made several trip to Puerto Rico and the Dominican Republic as well. Should we be concerned?)

(Editor take three-- not that there's anything wrong with that. Although we are concerned that that may be a side effect of the socialism that will undoubtedly rub off on him)

(Your friendly neighborhood editor again-- No, Bob from Maine, "Rub off" does not imply... can you hold?)

Memo to the Obama Campaign

There is no doubt the current financial crisis is by far the single largest “short-term” factor affecting the election—- and, beyond the partisan bedrock, short-term forces are going to help determine where the topsoil settles. By voicing support for the bill, albeit half-heartedly, however, you have already cast his lot with the bill and the centrists who supported it. Therefore, you have a vested interest in seeing it pass.

While getting more involved in the bailout bill has many inherent risks, it is worth considering for several reasons. One, McCain already shot his wad trying to play the hero the first time. Unlike him, you should not suspend your campaign, both to avoid tying yourself to any failure, and to reinforce your previous point that whoever becomes president will have to be able to multi-task.

Now, since the 228 votes that did in the bailout bill in the House came from all directions, it might seem an impossible task to create a cohesive strategy to resurrect it. However, it is important to remember that the 205 votes, by both Democrats and Republicans, that were in favor of the bill exceeded both of the alternatives: 133 presumably more conservative Republicans who want more individual responsibility and fiscal conservatism, and 95 presumably liberal Democrats who want more protections for “Main Street.”

The key, then, is to continue to play the calm, cerebral role behind the scenes that you have been both praised and criticized for. You need to process what has happened and see what incentives can be included so that both sides can have some political cover if they are convinced to switch their votes.

If you can play in instrumental role in forming a compromise that can peel off enough votes from either side, you will have shown two things that voters are looking for tangible evidence of—leadership and bipartisanship. If you can present these as extensions to the core principles you announced a few months back, well, you might even be able to add visionary to the list.

Memo to the Obama Campaign, II

Increased FDIC protection, which has been added to the Senate bill, sounds like a good start, as it keeps the government as insurer (further helping Main Street) and not owner and operator of financial institutions (or socializing Wall Street).

Pushing for a cap on “golden parachutes” seems like a no-brainer: For the 95 Democratic “nays” and the liberal wing of the party, this would help reinforce that the bill shouldn’t help those who, along with being instrumental in the collapse, are already set for life. Reduce it as far down as $250,000, the delineation below which you are cutting taxes— no one above it has the financial incentive to vote for you anyway. Indeed, those making $100,000+ have significantly favored Republicans over the last several elections, so you don’t stand to lose much here.

For the fiscally-conservative wing of the Republican party, it is about responsibility and, indeed, the core principles of capitalism—thou shalt not get financially rewarded if thou did not run thy company efficiently and profitably (a few puritanical Christians might agree with this too). Indeed, if you can frame this as a cost-cutting measure for the government, you might even get some fiscal and social conservatives on board. If there is anything in there that could be considered an “earmark,” get it out. Indeed, resist the temptation to include vast protections and assistance for those done in by the foreclosure crisis—if there’s anyway you could reduce the sense of this being a bailout, the bill will stand a much higher chance of passing.

That being said, if you can push for some sort of assistance for those who lost their homes— or even agree to make it a priority once the first bill is passed (perhaps in the form of low-interest loans to help them get back on their feet, perhaps from the very banks the US would be “bailing out”), it could help you with a core Democratic base—Latinos, a high percentage of which fell victim to the subprime crisis. Indeed, no Latino lawmakers voted in favor of the bailout bill—if you could get a couple on board, that could have a huge ripple effect throughout the community, and thus provide a boost within the fast-growing ethnic/racial denomination in the United States-- which, you might recall, gravitated toward Hillary, instead of you, in the primaries

You—and your future presidency— are already tied to the success or failure of the bill, so you might as well go the extra mile to try to see it through.

Finally, on the semantic level, it may well be more about the marketing. Along with the “leadership,” “bipartisanship,” and “visionary” labels for yourself, give this thing a snappier name, maybe something including words like “rejuvenation.” And whenever the final scroll is ready for presentation, wrap it up in red and blue ribbon.

Presidential Debate Drinking Games

in progress...

final list will include the following words/phrases:

"change"
"My friends"
"um"

also under consideration:

blinking
moving of top lip (or lack thereof)
awkward smiles

Try this at home! Just not in public.

(Editor's note-- The last we heard from our correspondents, they were concocting a drink to be quaffed whenever someone used the word "existential." We never heard from them again)

Nope, That Upper Lip Still Ain't Movin'

... but what's up with that left eye?

(not to mention the declaration of victory before the thing's even started)

Terrifying Video

No, we're not talking about the naked man tumbling to his death after being stun-gunned. We're talking the interview with the woman who would be a heartbeat away from the presidency-- and a weak one at that. We are wary of "misunderestimating" her because she is a woman, because she talks like a character from Fargo, because she is religulous, but oh... (y)our... god...

Palin talks Russia

and we quote:

"Our next door neighbors are foreign countries. They're in the state that I am the executive of."

"It's very important when you consider even national security issues with Russia as Putin rears his head and comes into the air space of the United States of America, where-- where do they go? It's Alaska. It's just right over the border. It is-- from Alaska that we send those out to make sure that an eye is being kept on this very powerful nation, Russia, because they are right there. They are right next to-- to our state."

Katie Couric said that Palin seemed confident. You ask us-- she seemed terrified.

Good vs. Evil (Redux)

Israel = the good guys

Iran = the bad guys

Bring out the toy soldiers!

warning: the following video is rather disturbing and should be watched with caution by anyone with any notion of geopolitical complexity

"It is obvious to me who the good guys are in this one and who the bad guys are. The bad guys are the ones who say Israel is a stinking corpse and should be wiped off the face of the earth. That's not a good guy who is saying that. Now, one who would seek to protect the good guys in this, the leaders of Israel and her friends, her allies, including the United States. In my world, those are the good guys."

Hey Palin, what about the Palestinians? Are they the bad guys too?

(Our editor's humble suggestion-- she should have stayed in her (little) world)

We're Not the Only One(s)...

Even the National Review is weighing in...

We Are All Parrotheads

Lipstick on the (Chauvinist) Pig

We aren't generally a fan of women ranting about sexism and unfair treatment, but Campbell Brown does have a point. Are little girls watching campaign coverage and saying, "Maybe I can grow up to run for vice president someday and get shielded from the tough questions because I am a woman?"

"Are they going to suppress my roar?"

The World Isn't Ending-- Yet

Check back tomorrow.

The Financial Crisis

No jokes here-- that sh** ain't funny.

Bill Gates is a Mutant

OK, we're not exactly going out on a limb here. But with all the fuss being made about Microsoft's latest ad being pulled, most of which implied that it was because of the inclusion of Jerry Seinfeld, a.k.a. "sitcom-star-from-the-nineties-read-bridge-to-the-twentieth-century," we wonder how many folks actually watched the ad. Gates looks like he crawled out from under a rock-- no, that he is still under a rock, and still only seeing the daylight in his peripheral vision. He does what we previously thought impossible-- he makes Jerry Seinfeld appear healthy.

Irrelevant-in-Chief

Two thoughts:

1. Where is Bush amidst all this mess?

2. How can we get him to stay there?

Bush's presidency is probably best summed up by a comment Dennis Ross made last night. Granted, it was concerning Middle East policy, but could just as easily apply here:

"You can't have a president who doesn't know the issue at all."

It's the Stupid Economy

Yep, the walls of Rome are tumbling down. The only upside all this is that it has clearly swung the momentum back to Obama. McCain, the self-described "Deregulator," just ain't the man for these times. And Palin...

Finite Jest

David Foster Wallace is dead. Up until his final gesture, he did what we wanted to do. We recommend his take on John McCain during the 2000 election (back when he had a soul).

May he rest in postmodernist peace.

What?

... did Lehman Brothers say something? We're sorry, we weren't paying attention.

(Editor's note-- Uh, they use to be E.F. Hutton... never mind)

Fire Sale

Sold-- Merrill Lynch, to Bank of America for $50 billion

Lehman Brothers-- Bankrupt.

Kudos to the Federal Reserve and the Treasury for letting one fall. Hold onto your horses, livestock, and spare change.

The Wave, the Look, the Voice...

As we previously alluded, Tina Fey is Sarah Palin... except that she is possibly more qualified to be president.

The 100% Truth Test

McCain's recent ads have failed it, according to none other than Karl Rove.

Kim Jung be Illin'

at least there's a successor lined up... um... at least we have extra troops just in case it gets chaotic over there... um...

Surge Overkill

Let's face it, folks, the surge has been "working"-- so far. Here's some other developments, however, that deserve their share of the credit:

1. The "Anbar Awakening"-- Sunni tribal leaders built local security forces in Anbar province.

2. Moktada al-Sadr drew down the Mahdi Army.

3. JSOC (Joint Special Operations Command)-- used "collaborative warfare" to track down al-Quaeda members.

To quote President Bush, "JSOC is awesome."

courtesy of da Post

Beyond Our Wildest Dreams

“I think that the surge has succeeded in ways that nobody anticipated. I’ve already said it’s succeeded beyond our wildest dreams.”

--Barack Obama, as quoted by, gulp, Fox News

While some have criticized Obama for these comments, we see them as a refreshing sign that Obama is not putting politics ahead of "victory" or at the least the "facts on the ground," which have dramatically improved, no matter which way you smoke them. Our wish all along has been that we want the man to win-- but not if it requires him to sell his entire soul.

(Editor's note: of course, some others' wildest dreams might have involved a heavily-armed Sarah Palin parachuting in alongside Chuck Norris...)

One Question for Sarah Palin

We would like to ask Sarah Palin the exact question posed in the May 3rd, 2007, Republican debate:

“Do you believe in evolution?”

According to a NYT source, “The churches that Sarah has attended all believe in a literal translation of the Bible.”

As we asked in an earlier posting, this question would be shorthand for the following:

“As vice president, if you were presented with concrete evidence that went against the faith-based scenario you had conjured up in your mind, would this affect your judgment of the situation or the actions you would take?”

Check out our original post: (Dis)Qualifying Questions (Aug. 14, 2007)

Lipstick on Dogsh**

No elaboration needed.

Saving Our Fannie

Word today that the government (in the name of us taxpayers) is planning to take over Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac (brother of Bernie), the mortgage giants. Ya gotta do what ya gotta do, we say. The idea that any of these quasi-privatized government entities were going to be allowed to fail was ludicrous, both in terms of national reputation and the effect on the overall economy.

But what was John McCain calling for in the RNC?

DE-REG-U-LATION.

... but where did they come up with those freakin' names?

Fannie Mae = Federal National Mortgage Association

Freddie Mac = Federal Home Mortgage Corporation

both established as "government-sponsored enterprises" in 1968.

courtest of an intern at the History News Network

Our Friends--

If we ever hear a certain politician utter the words "my friends" again, we'll head-butt the TV.

A Washington Post article confirmed what we have long abhored-- especially ironic in an auditorium packed with folks who hate him.

VPILF

According to Internet traffic, if elected, Sarah Palin will start a new category (no offense to Spiro T. Agnew).

White Elephants

Only 36 of the 2,380 Republican delegates seated on the convention floor are black.

Our question is, where did they find the 36?

What's With the Safety Glasses?

Weekend Update will never be the same.

Conventional Thinking

Other than a few pivotal moments addressing abortion and gun control in the middle there, Obama's was a pandering, old-fashioned political speech that went against what attracted many to him at the outset. Partisan attacks on McCain are not "change."

Many journalists, including those from PBS, are in so deep now they really don't seem to be able to view the whole thing objectively. We will agree, Obama did what he had to do, but it did not seem natural; his timing seemed... off.

We hope that Obama can return to his true, think-things-through persona as we enter the final stretch... at least to the extent that the public will allow.

Biden-- His Time

The convention seemed to confirm that Biden is not merely a safe choice-- he comes off as a stronger gap-plugger than we originally realized. Sure, we knew about his foreign policy know-how, but he seems to hold up on the family-values, lunch-pail Democrat angles too. They sure as hell ain't lettin' you forget he is from SCRANTON-- or spent a few days there, at least.

Jingoistic Journalism

Finally, some perspective on the crisis in Georgia.

From the initial reports, you woulda thunk that the Russkies had invaded Atlanta. That Russia was still the Soviet Union, aka the "Evil Empire." And that Putin was working hand-in-hand with Ernst Blofeld.

Granted, it seems clear that Putin's Posse "overreacted," but initial reports left out any sense of context or even-handedness.

It takes two to tango... or, in this case, to do that crossed-arms kick-your-leg-out dance people do after two many drinks at their best friend's wedding.

Here's what we didn't know (and the press didn't seem on top of either):

1991:
After Georgia gained its independence in 1991, South Ossetia resisted and, after a cease-fire, gained "defacto control of most of their region."

2008:
Russian troops remained in the area after conducting an annual military exercise just to the north.

Aug. 1:
Five Georgian policemen wounded in South Ossetia explosion; two days of violence (and several deaths) follow.

Aug. 7:
14:00 hrs: South Ossetian artillery fire kills two peacekeepers; Georgians return fire.
18:00 hrs: Georgian troops ordered to mobilize toward South Ossetia
19:00 hrs: Georgian President Saakashvilli declares a unilateral cease-fire as Georgian troops are on the move.
Evenin' time: 9,000 Georgian troops take up positions near the border
23:50 hrs-- 24:00 hrs: Under dispute as to which event happened first: Russian troops begin entering Ossetia through the Roki Tunnel before/after Georgians fire artillery into Tskhinvali and begin a ground attack.

Aug. 8:

Georgians get their collective asses kicked.

With the latest analysis, it seems the Georgians bear some responsibility, at least, for being dumb enough to walk into a bear trap.

Gleaned from the Post's article A Two-Sided Descent Into Full-Scale War.

Political Posturing

The reaction of journalists provides a good backdrop for the initial reactions of the presidential candidates. Here they are, in their own words:

John McCain: "Russia should immediately and unconditionally cease its military operations and withdraw all forces from sovereign Georgian territory."

Barack Obama: “Now is the time for Georgia and Russia to show restraint, and to avoid an escalation to full scale war. Georgia’s territorial integrity must be respected.”

Which one sounds more presidential?

(Editor's note-- it was in the interests of our readers that we decided against titling this posting "Russian to Judgment)

Georgia Peaches

From the Georgian State Dance Company:

In form, Georgian dances are divided into solo, pair and group. Each dancer has to subordinate to the requirements of a common plan and it's [sic] expression in the dance. At the same time the performers do not lose their individuality, since several dances demand competition between partners in strength, agility, elevation and bold movements.

The role of female dancers is an interesting one. The woman never openly tries to attract her partners'[sic] attention in the dance - as though she does not wish to be noticed by him.

She appears unaware of her partner’s tender feelings, maintaining an attitude of distance and awareness of her beauty. In the new folk dance’s[sic], which have been created in the last 20 or 30 years, a change has been noticed in the pattern of women's dances. They have acquired more liveliness, boldness and energy of movements without infringing, however, on the traditional strictness of the dancer’s conduct.

The male dancers can boast a highly original technique. Unlike any other dancers in the world, they dance on their toes and without the aid of "block" shoes. In the women's dances, in contrast to classical ballet, dancing on pointes is unknown.

The site also describes Georgia as "the California of the Soviet Union."

Eat Like an Olympian

Breakfast: Three fried egg sandwiches; cheese; tomatoes; lettuce; fried onions; mayonnaise; three chocolate-chip pancakes; five-egg omelette; three sugar-coated slices of French toast; bowl of grits; two cups of coffee

Lunch: Half-kilogram (one pound) of enriched pasta; two large ham and cheese sandwiches with mayonnaise on white bread; energy drinks

Dinner: Half-kilogram of pasta, with carbonara sauce; large pizza; energy drinks

See more on Michael Phelps' gastronomic particularities on ABBCCC...

No word on dessert.

We're Either With Them or Against Them

Shades of Bush's global vision in the latest Russian bluster:

CNN: "Russia to U.S.: Choose us or Georgia"

Indeed, we've gotta agree with Russian Ambassador to the UN, Vitaly Churkin, who, when asked if Russia was seeking regime change, said:

"Regime change is purely an American invention."

Touché.

The hypocrisy of the whole thing was made glaringly obvious by John McCain, who actually said the following:

"In the 21st century nations don't invade other nations"

Georgia on Our Mind

The Cold War ain't over... it's not even cold.

In today's NYT:

President Saakashvili compared Georgia to Czechoslovakia in 1938, trusting the West to save it from a ravenous neighbor. “If Georgia fails,” he said to me darkly two months ago, “it will send a message to everyone that this path doesn’t work.”

While we find the 1938 analogy a bit of a reach, how about the same country in 1968? Or Hungary in 1956? In both these cases, the people took the tacit encouragement of the US as meaning that their backs would be had by the military might of the US.

They din' have it then, and they don' have it now.

Despite all the encouragement for democratic freedoms, in the end, at least in the sort term, soft power is no defense against hard power. Think of it as butter vs. hot knife... or, to stretch the analogy even further, hot sicle.

Driving Mr. Osama

While we don't know enough about the case to comment on the specific legal arguments, we welcome, in principle at least, the split decision and relatively light sentencing of Salim Ahmed Hamdan, best known as "bin Laden's driver." With credit for time served, he could be out in five months.

By finding him only guilty of material support for terrorism, which, in press reports at least, seemed to be the most accurate definition of his involvement, the US seems to be sending a new message: while we still feel that you're either with us or against us, we have decided that when it comes to locking you up and throwing away the key, after a short hiatus, the rule of law will now at least be considered again.

Of course, there's no guarantee that this court ruling will actually be followed.

from the NYT

Our John Adams Moment

Well, the jury is out... considering the fate of Salim Hamdan. This is a critical moment in American jurisprudence. Will the military court make a mockery of justice and allow torture-induced testimony? Or will they do the right thing, even if it means setting a potential terrorist free? The world is waiting.

(including the BBC)

(previous Founding-Father reference here)

The Vetting of the Jew

Sorry, South Park has invaded our brain.

We read today that McCain is looking at another potential running mate, and, we have to say, wethinks he will be the one.

Here are the words that Politico used to describe Rep. Eric Cantor (R-Va.):

• 45

• With a Southern lilt and a talent for raw politics

• one of the nation’s most prominent Jewish Republicans

• a prolific fundraiser for the campaign

• A young fiscal conservative

• would be an unconventional choice at a time when McCain is looking to add excitement to his campaign.

hey, youth & fiscal conservatism... that could well be a winning combo. The Jewish angle would offer a McCain ticket the possibility of a "first" and be red meat for the neo-cons, sweetening prospects, in their minds at least, for bomb-bomb-bomb-bombing Iran.

Plus, for the religious conservatives, it means, if nothing else, that he's not a Mormon.

Another Night in Paris

A convincing argument that the new McCain ad continues in the racist tradition of those used against Harold Ford in Tennessee, subliminally linking Obama to a three-way tryst with 2 "sweet young (white) things."

Watch for the follow-up with an Obama sound byte from France, where he said, "I don't know anybody who doesn't want to spend more time in Paris."

(Editor's note-- Upon reflection, we suppose our previous post is guilty of the same... but at least we weren't subtle about it)

Mac Attacks

As the McCain campaign unveils its third straight attack ad, we gotta ask:

Is that the best you can do?

(Editor's note-- we will only give the attacks merit if a sex tape emerges)

(Editor's addendum-- and it includes Lindsey Lohan... and her "gal pal.")

Big Daddy Kaine

We were wondering why all the speculation over Va. Gov. Tom Kaine for the VP slot-- he seemed pretty nondescript to us-- and then we heard some español rrrroll off his tongue.

Breaking the Law Breaking the Law

(Editor's note-- We've been looking for a chance to include a Judas Priest quote)

Yep, it seems that the Justice Dep't is guilty, guilty, guilty!

Melanomatic

He's still kicking, but did lose a piece of his cheek today.

The Stroke

Apologies to Billy Squier for the title of this post.

It's just that we fear the state of John McCain's health-- honestly, we are wondering if references to Iraqi-Pakistani borders (as John Stewart pointed out, that would be, uh, Iran) aren't symptomatic of a dying brain. With all this emphasis on proving his vim and vigor, we are, frankly, worried about him pushing himself off the edge. Coupled with that famous temper of his, we're worried a blood vessel could burst in the wrong place. While we might not agree with much of what the current McCain has to say, we don't want to see him go out like that.

Ich Bin Ein... Palestinian

We ask you to listen to the following words not as if Obama was proclaiming himself a jelly donut, but as if he was giving them from his previous stop on his world-wind tour:

"The walls between the countries with the most and those with the least cannot stand. The walls between races and tribes; natives and immigrants; Christian and Muslim and Jew cannot stand. These now are the walls we must tear down."

You Say Afghanistan, I Say Iraq

John McCain this morning on the situation in Afghanistan:

"We have a lot of work to do and I'm afraid it's a very hard struggle, particularly given the situation on the Iraq/Pakistan border."

as seen on-- and quoted by-- ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ

This one should stick because it is symptomatic of a larger problem for McCain-- beyond mere ignorance, it exacerbates an oft-demonstrated indifference to important distinctions, be they between Sunni and Shiite, Iraq and Afghanistan, or... OK, we'll give him a break on Czech and Slovakia subtleties! All of which is perfect for a reprise of stay-the-course, with-us-or-against-us diplomacy, but a warning shot across the bow of any hope of a nuanced foreign policy, something that even the Bush administration has come to realize is essential.

You Can Call Him al

al-Maliki, that is. It seems the Iraqi P.M. has weighed in on the U.S. election, with the following reflection in Der Spiegel:

"U.S. presidential candidate Barack Obama talks about 16 months. That, we think, would be the right timeframe for a withdrawal, with the possibility of slight changes."

(Editor's note-- Vee don't read zee Cherman so vell, so had to rely on zee Reuters)

You Say "Timeline," I Say "Time Horizon"

As the Washington Post reports:

Bush, Maliki Agree on 'Time Horizon' for U.S. Troop Withdrawals

Light Sweet Crude

Yep, it's time for us to fill up the tank again.

Caricature This!

OK, the New Yorker cartoon was a little over the top. They should have kept it inside the magazine, where only their "sophisticated" readership would have seen it. The very least they could have done is put the title on the cover: "The Politics of Fear." But you know what? John Stewart-- and Barack Obama-- are right... in the end, it's only a cartoon. And anybody who thought that Mohammed was fair game in Denmark should definitely shut their proverbial hole. But the oft-overlooked point is that, once again, the real "offendees" are American Muslims-- a point Obama did make in the WSJ's Washington Wire:

You know, this is actually an insult against Muslim-Americans, something that we don’t spend a lot of time talking about. And sometimes I’ve been derelict in pointing that out.

Yes, he has-- but in his defense, others further away from the political cross-hairs should be filling that void as well.

Who's the Big Winner in Iraq and Afghanistan?

Iran.

And despite being labeled as "schizophrenic," their recent response(s) to Israeli and American aggression make complete sense... unlike all of Achmadinejad's Holocaust blather.

To see what they really want, read FP (although we're not totally sure we agree with their man Karim).

Jesse Jackson's Excuses for His Latest Comments

10. Not only does he want Barack to be the first black president, but someone needs to open the door for eunuchs as well.

9. He was on his way to a potluck party and didn't want to show up empty-handed.

8. It was meant to distract Michelle so Barack could get them back out of her purse.

7. He thought it would go over better than calling him a "Hymie."

6. Hey, he was planning to give them back in time for the convention.

5. He saw on Barack's driver's license that he was an organ donor.

4. His own were past warranty.

3. He wanted to make sure Barack was fair and "balanced."

2. Just like with band-aids, he was hoping to get a pair that matched.

1. He knew it would give Obama just the boost he needed (actually, this one is serious-- he was on Fox, after all).

Killing Them Softly

McCain on the export of cigarettes to Iran:

"Maybe that's a way of killing them."

As expected, liberal bloggers have taken him to task for this remark, like this one.

Initially, we had two words for such sentiments: lighten (the f***) up. It is funny. albeit inappropriate (don't those two things always go hand in hand?).

The bigger point, though, is that, for better or worse, it is not presidential, and is the best example yet of how this presidential race is suffocating the man they once called a maverick. Even when he did "talk straight," or at least in directions other than exclusively to the right, it was a losing proposition. To watch him wrestle with cue cards these days is a sad, sad, sad, and this was probably just the alien beneath his chest bursting through for a brief appearance.

In the end, we do reach the same conclusion as Cesca: this is just one more reason why McCain should just retreat to his porch with some old-timer's lemonade, where his remarks will be out of earshot and just be those of someone who "ain't going to change his ways" and "doesn't mean no harm."

The suggestion to that Obama would have been pounced upon for saying the same thing, however, completely misses the point. Number one, Obama would never say it. Number two, disparaging remarks about Jews are always going to register more here than similar ones towards Iranians or Arabs in this country.

[It was at this point that we realized by laughing at the "joke," we were doing the same thing]

It's time to move past viewing every development in a purely partisan fashion. To talk straight, as it were. While such an option might be off the table for a presidential candidate, it should not be so for those of us covering it.

Fusion Man

Krauthammered

This whole drift-to-the-center thing is a losing proposition... you gotta know something is wrong when we agree with Charles Krauthammer 2 weeks in a row. The fact is, Obama's Iraq policy does need to be "refined"... but could he do it a tad more gracefully? On the heels of his (most recent) positions on the death penalty and gun control, it reeks of opportunism and old-style politics. Our advice? Find a conviction or two-- and stick with it.

What's That? A Flag Pin on Your Uniform?

What the FARC?

The rescue of 7 hostages in Colombia serves as a reminder that however much we may romanticize the notion of being a left-wing guerrilla hiding out in the jungle, in a civil war, both sides usually soil themselves and in the end the only guarantee is that the farmers and villagers will bear the brunt of it all.

The best account of the rescue is in the NYT

and here's the video, straight from the Colombian government:
Mindefensa presentó el video de la Operación Jaque

Genghis Schlock

Alternate title: What Were Those Reviewers Smoking?

This movie was profoundly disappointing. When you feel the urge to look at your watch during the climactic battle scene, that should tell you something. This was a puff propaganda piece that was mind-numbingly boring. The escape sequences were downright embarrassing. As for historical accuracy, it would have been even worse if the bulk of it hadn't been simply left out, like how he went from a family of four to an army of thousands in a frame or two.

And how did someone keep their head clean-shaven in the 1100s?

Terror Begats Terror

A Palestinian construction worker went on a rampage in Jerusalem today, wreaking havoc from behind the wheel of a bulldozer. Three people are reported dead so far, and dozens wounded. Tucked inside the Washington Post article on the incident was this nugget:

The Israeli media reported that [Israeli Prime Minister] Olmert was looking for legal ways to demolish the home of the attacker, a married father of two.

You see, it has long been a policy of the Israeli government to destroy the homes of Palestinians involved in terrorist attacks, despite a government report that echoed common sense in its finding that such actions, rather than serving as a deterrent, merely create more resentment.

And what do they use to perform such demolitions, 18,000 of which have taken place since 1967?

Uh, bulldozers.

Ethnic Shampoo

Perhaps even more disturbing is the comment that closes the piece, by Maj. Gen. Shahar Ayalon, deputy commissioner of the Israeli police:

"The residents of East Jerusalem have to stop this if they want to continue living with us."

What, exactly, is he saying?

Chinese Water Torture

Nothing should surprise us any more-- but this one did. Apparently, Guantanamo interrogators were modeling their approach on Chinese Communist techniques used during the Korean War. The original goal of the techniques? to get the American soldiers to confess, whether guilty or not.

read on here

What's on Your Resume?

Wesley Clark was right... getting shot down does not qualify you to be president. We think this might have legs if people take the time to think it through-- at least, if they give Clark the benefit of the doubt and hear what he had to say in context. Oh, wait... we briefly forgot what country we were in. Oh, well. Clark would have made a fine VP.

What is it Good For?

And what does McCain's war experience actually show? That he can and will endure whatever pain and suffering comes his way, with honor and conviction, and ask the same of the American people: stay the course, never surrender, no matter how dumb a policy may be, no matter where it takes place, be it a Hilton in Hanoi or a quagmire in Iraq.

Declaration of Hypocrisy

We were tempted to respond to the Obama campaign's plea to donate a little of the green stuff this week. After all, they were offering a nice cotton T-shirt for a donation of $30. Why the hell do you think we ever donated to the Sierra Club? Sure, we appreciate the environment, but if they hadn't included that little backpack they wouldn't have gotten squat from us.

But, David Plouffe, you ain't gettin' our money this time.

We have been uncomfortable with Obama's decision to pull out of the campaign finance system and reject public funds. Feels a little like the same old political stuff we're used to (as do his recent panderings to the center). Now, we're willing to give him a little leeway on that-- after all, he's gotta throw a little red meat to the independents and (gulp) Republicans out there. But to compare this purely economic decision to the Declaration of Independence? Nawwwwwwww, we ain't that gullible. Try again, people.

Malleability

We mean, we never thought we'd find ourselves agreeing with the generally despicable Charles Krauthammer

State of the Disunion

According to Fareed Zakaria, this is the speech Obama should give on Iraq:

Four score and...

(Editor's note-- please forgive us for outsourcing this week, but we're real busy...)

Guess Who's Back?

Yep, it's the Iraq Petroleum Company, comprised of Shell, Exxon Mobil, Total, and BP, back in the country for the first time since Saddam kicked them out 36 years ago. Remember when they told you that oil revenues would pay for everything? Yeah, well, they didn't tell you who those revenues would be going to. The war might not have been for oil, but it sure as hell wasn't against it. Sounds like a bit of Exxploitation to us.

The Iraq Petroleum Company-- Putting the "no-bid" in "bidniss."

culled, like the picture above, from the NYT

Okay, Maybe It's Number 10... or 12?

John McCain called the Supreme Court's ruling on the rights of the detainees in Guantanamo Bay "one of the worst decisions in the history of this country." Wethinks he should reconsider. Here, with help from George Will, are some others he may want to reconsider in his revised list:

Dred Scott v. Sanford (1857)

Plessy v. Ferguson (1896)

Korematsu v. United States (1944)

Bush v. Gore (2000)


There are many more, but we are tired

It's the Courts, Stupid

5-4

By one vote, the Supreme Court ruled that "enemy combatants" held at Guantanamo Bay have a right to seek their release in federal court. As a result, approximately 270 detainees will be able to challenge their detentions before civilian judges, potentially forcing the government to present evidence against them, allow them to see said evidence, and giving them the chance to call their own witnesses.

as reported in Da Post

Barack Obama: The ruling shows that "a state can't just hold you for any reason without charging you and without giving you any kind of due process -- that's the essence of who we are."

John McCain: "One of the worst decisions in the history of this country."

It's not just Roe vs. Wade, people: common sense itself is at stake.

Hey... We Been BUSY!!!!

Apologies, dear readers, for the long hiatus.

(Editor's note-- we can't help it, we were born with it)

Crash and Burn

... that would be our MacBook. Thank goodness all this irreverence was saved online!

Oh No You Dinnnn'...

Oh yes we did... because oh yes we could.

Cabin Fever

A logistical update; if you are a frequent reader of this site, you well understand why we must keep such operational details vague. However, with the Democratic race finally becoming settled as of today or tomorrow, we wanted to reassure our dear readers that we will continue to be on top of everything as all eyes turn to our nation's capital and Obama hones in on John McCain, the Sassy Septuagenarian himself. With this in mind, we have sent one of our chief correspondents to the region. In order to keep a low profile, we have set him up in the out-outskirts of DC, in a log cabin where, he reports, he was greeted by a raccoon upon arrival. Said correspondent speculates that said raccoon may have been nonplussed by the intrusion of human into his living space.

More news later, as it breaks.

Kaczynskiesque

How our correspondent describes said cabin, in a proverbial nutshell.

First Contact

A previously uncontacted indigenous tribe on the Brazilian-Peruvian border. Photos from the National Indian Foundation, a government agency in Brazil, which tracks such tribes and seeks to protect them from encroachment. A noble cause-- but we gots to think the fly-bys are going to f*** their minds up a lot more than a wayward chicle harvester!

Stoned

Hillary must have been to think that this photo was a good idea... or to think she still has a chance of winning the nomination.

A Higher Loyalty

Kudos to Scott McClellan for coming clean on what the rest of the world knows: that the Bush administration misled the nation (and itself) into the "strategic blunder" that is Iraq while consciously making “a decision to turn away from candor and honesty when those qualities were most needed.”

We must admit, we felt like McClellan was the biggest stooge of all when parroting that stuff back in real time. In that role, however, we will give him a free pass for not speaking up at the time, unlike, say, Colin Powell.

Loyalty, not the lack of it, is what has been the single biggest problem with the Bush administration all along. Loyalty is what makes people ignore the facts in front of them. Loyalty is what might make the same dumb-ass policy decisions happen again in, say, neighboring Iran. Loyalty to anyone, including President Obama, has to take a back seat to the truth... so it feels good to get at least a small snippet of it from the inner circle of Texas-style cronyism.

The Good Old Daze

“We had some pretty wild parties back in the day, and I just don’t remember.”

President Bush, responding to allegations of cocaine use, as overheard by former press secretary Scott McClellan

Once a Frat Boy...

This one says it all

Sex, Consumerism, and the City

We saw some promos for the upcoming Sex and the City movie and were, frankly, disgusted by the wardrobe changes, the thousand-dollar shoes, and the raw, unadulterated consumerism... are these really the role models we want for our wimmen?

(Editor's note-- Use of possessive only intended in the general sense)

(Editor's disclaimer-- We must confess-- we have tried to watch-- and enjoy-- Sex and the City with an open mind on at least two separate occasions, to no avail. Lauren Hutton said it right today on Today: it's a show written by (male) sluts encouraging women to be the same. As such, we can't help but feel that it is aiding and abetting the enemy, much like those annual "bin Laden-preaching-from-a-cave" shorts do for religious fanatics. As a friend of ours once said, "She (his soon-to-be ex-girlfriend) even used a line from the show-- ver batim!")

Hillary's Nadir

Nadir, not Nader. Means lowest point. Ever. Here's what she had to say today about staying in the race:

"My husband did not wrap up the nomination in 1992 until he won the California primary somewhere in the middle of June, right? We all remember Bobby Kennedy was assassinated in June in California. I don't understand it."

And here we thought she was hanging around until Obama revealed a love child co-propagated in a swordfight with the Reverend Louis Farrakhan. This makes it sound like she's just been waiting for the brother to get shot. And you know damn well that this has been the biggest fear of many blacks voting for Obama, and that there are plenty of wackos out there willing to do it.

She doesn't just need to apologize to the Kennedys-- intentional or not, she owes this one to Obama.

see Hillary hit rock bottom here

To the Right of Israel...

Apparently, the Bush list of "appeasers" would include the Israelis themselves, as evidenced by the open acknowledgment of talks with Syria in Istanbul, the most serious in eight years.

To the Right of Himself

Witness the actions of the Bush administration itself:

Libya: held direct talks with the Kaddafi government, which acknowledged responsibility for the 270 deaths on Pan Am flight 103

North Korea: sent envoys and a "warm and fuzzy" presidential letter to the gov't which tested a nuclear bomb in 2006

Syria: Despite withdrawing its ambassador, the US maintain contacts with this "rogue nation"

and, finally, the coup de gras:

Iran: US diplomats participated in talks with Iranians at a conference in Iraq

According to one Bush administration official, "I'd rather be right than consistent." If only his boss could be either.

culled from the NYT

The Death of Conservatism?

According to George Packer, there is "little life" left in the movement that "Goldwater began, Nixon brought into power, Ronald Reagan gave mass appeal, Newt Gingrich radicalized, Tom DeLay criminalized, and Bush allowed to break into pieces." In the article, Packer says that John McCain's appeal is that he doesn't present himself as such, and quotes David Brooks in saying that McCain is "certainly not" a "conventional, establishment, old-style conservative candidate."

Fair enough, but McCain is definitely pandering to the right, especially when it comes to the courts and the judges that will inhabit them. According to Jeffrey Toobin, of The Nine fame, would-be President McCain has made "an implicit promise" that he will appoint "Justices who will eliminate the right to privacy, permit states to ban abortions, and allow the execution of teen-agers." Toobin has stated elsewhere that, once set in motion, Roe v. Wade could be undone in a year's time, its name becoming mere options for ovum-seeking sperm too tired to swim. Thus, even if conservatism is waning, its effects could linger for generations to come... literally.

in this week's New Yorker magazine

Going to the Courthouse...

Kudos to the California Supreme Court in its ruling that denying gays the right to marry is unconstitutional. We believe that homosexuals should have the same right to be miserable as everyone else. On a more serious note, isn't marriage the perfect antidote to the stereotypical "wanton, indiscriminate sex" that seemed to be behind much of the aversion in the first place? As far as speculation over a "constitutional amendment" banning gay marriage goes, who are we to judge the rights of others? That's what the courts are for.

(Editor's disclosure-- We haven't always supported gay marriage; we must admit that in our youth we felt that, while homosexuals should be afforded the same rights and protections, it should be done under a different name. Our position has evolved over time into its current form: namely, the old adage that "separate is inherently unequal")

related commentary here

Bumper Sticker of the Day

WAR

doesn't determine
who's right
only
who's left

Go Back in Your Hole!

This is what Dubya had to say during Israel's 60th-birthday celebrations, a thinly-veiled barb at Obama:

“Some seem to believe that we should negotiate with the terrorists and radicals, as if some ingenious argument will persuade them they have been wrong all along. We have heard this foolish delusion before. As Nazi tanks crossed into Poland in 1939, an American senator declared: “Lord, if I could only have talked to Hitler, all this might have been avoided.” We have an obligation to call this what it is — the false comfort of appeasement, which has been repeatedly discredited by history.”

Of course, as the Obama camp argues, the Bush foreign policy has done more to strengthen and embolden Iran, and threaten Israel, than any degree of talking could ever purport to do.

Of course, despite these loud proclamations, the US is holding lower-level talks with Iran and Syria.

Of course, two years ago, John McCain, despite echoing these statements as of late, is on record for promoting talks with Hamas.

And of course, if we start making comparisons to Nazism, we could make parallels to wall-building and ghettoizing as well.

The NYT's take on Bush's words and video of McCain's

"...Pull Out, Like Your Father Should Have"

This a quote from our one of our Education correspondent's students, or, more specifically, from one of his students' posters for the 1967 March on the Pentagon. This particular message was for LBJ, but wethinks it could apply to Dubya as well... with 3 clarifications.

1. Pulling out at this point would be a messy operation (interpret as you will), and is impossible to do in a complete sense-- in other words, some of the swimmers have already made it upstream, and Damien is on his way.

2. If his father had avoided the "pickle tickle" with bride Barbara, the neo-cons may well have found another stooge to do their dirty work.

3. His father didn't have to pull out of Iraq, because he never went in; as James Baker has said, people used to ask him why they didn't push on to Baghdad in 1991, but "nobody ever asks that question anymore."

In fact, in retrospect, Bush Sr.'s foreign policy is one Republicans and Democrats would do well to emulate.

As for the poster, said correspondent was impressed and went back to the faculty room with thoughts of putting it up on the wall; he only reconsidered after proclaiming, "We have a winner!" and getting a blanched response from a woman with the same name as his mother.

posted by our Education correspondent, reporting from the hallowed high school halls of [CLASSIFIED]

...and There Ain't No Santa Claus Neither

"The word God is for me nothing more than the expression and product of human weaknesses, the Bible a collection of honourable, but still primitive legends which are nevertheless pretty childish."

Albert Einstein, in a letter that surfaced this week

see also: Einstein's marriage contract

Further Proof

Celebrating 60 Years of Oppression

Happy Birthday Israel!

Happy Catastrophe!

(hey, it rhymes!)

to Israel's Palestinian brothers... like it or not, you're all in this together.

Play Golf Not War

To show his "solidarity" with the familes of Iraq war dead, Dubya has announced his abstinence from golf. He is quoted as saying, "playing golf during a war just sends the wrong signal."

Now watch this drive.

from Da Post

Kancho!

This word means "fore" on a Chinese golf course. In Japanese, it means "enema." Hence, it can lead to guffaws on the links... or sheer, unbridled terror.

Mountain Momma

Well (no surprise, no surprise), it looks like Hillary is going to win West Virginia in a convincing fashion... not the least of which is due to WV's demographics of white, rural, largely uneducated voters. Indeed, as things heat up, it's becoming pretty clear that we are a racist country, something Hillary seems to be milking. It shouldn't be a surprise, considering 30 years ago half the states wouldn't even allow interracial marriage. But, hey, I suppose that's what you get with a democracy... even the idiots who think Obama is a Muslim have a say.

And it's there where the press (and Hillary, as she comes to terms with role as runner-up) have a responsibility... they should clearly say that he isn't a Muslim, and that it shouldn't matter if he was; for they are not part of the ignorant masses, and don't have the excuse that they don't know any better.

Paint it Black

After North Carolina and Indiana, it seems that Obama is back on track to win the nomination. As for the general election, the more McCain shows his age, the more and more things move in Obama's favor as well. While we are obviously pleased with the developments, let's wait see what fruit loops come out of the woodwork to try to bring him down; rest assured there are folks out there who are freaking out about such a possibility. After all, they didn't make it the "White" House for no reason.

Hillary's Secret Plan to Help Obama

We will admit, we had gotten to the point where we visibly retracted with hatred and scorn whenever Hillary would open her mouth, a feeling exacerbated today when we were told that she was campaigning in North Carolina with a southern accent. But we must put aside any latent misguided misogyny and give credit where credit is due. With her gas-tax rebate proposal, Hillary has gone out of her way to pave Obama's way to the nomination. If the voters don't take her up on this overt self-sacrifice, well, then, they deserve each other.

Consider:

1. She brought the debate back to the issues at precisely the time that Obama needed to put the Reverend Wright issue behind him.

2. By blatantly pandering, she allowed him to take the high road, and act presidential in the process.

3. By aligning herself with John McCain, she sets up a scenario where he can continue the same argument into the fall, and expose the once straight-talkin' McCain as the panderer he has become.

So, bless your heart, Hillary! We take back those bad things we had been saying about you. Well, some of them, anyway.

Cheerleader-in-Chief

Yes, the man served as a male cheerleader at Andover and Yale, and seems to have put this part of his education, at least, to use with his upbeat evaluations of the economy and the war. The following (disturbing) words show him in full swing:

"Kick ass! If somebody tries to stop the march to democracy, we will seek them out and kill them!"

GWB, during a White House videoconference on Fallujah, April 2003

He went on to say, "We must be tougher than hell! Stay strong! Stay the course! Kill them! Be confident! Prevail! We are going to wipe them out! We are not blinking."

as quoted by Army Lt. Gen. Ricardo Sanchez, who referred to it as "a kind of confused pep talk”

Heckuva Job, Laura

Is it just us or... what the hell is Laura Bush doing giving a press conference on Myanmar? It's almost like she's trying to gain experience so she can run for president some day. But... is it a good idea to politicize the situation when the death toll is in the tens of thousands? Is it a good time to keep referring to the country by its colonized name, Burma? And, however well deserved, is it the best time to award the Congressional Gold Medal their biggest dissident, Aung San Suu Kyi? If there's one thing the Bush administration shouldn't be lecturing people on, it's their response to natural disasters!

The press conference took a creepy turn when questions turned to Jenna's impending wedding. Is this really the time to be talking about frivolous things like family nuptials and limestone altars? We mean, that sounds like the sort of non-political stuff that only a first lady should be dealing with.

Letter to the NY Times that Wasn't Published

To the Editor:

The first section of Monday's New York Times was bookended by two articles ("Her Dream, Branded as a Threat" and "Pariah Diplomacy," April 28) that illustrate the root of the colossal failure that is US policy in the Middle East.

By remaining ignorant of the Arab language and the various cultures and ideas that accompany it, we are destined to continue objectifying an entire region— and suffering the consequences. By stifling moderate Arab and/or/nor Muslim voices such as Dubai, Mahmoud Abbas, Debbie Almontaser, and, yes, Jimmy Carter, we create a vacuum for the more radical ones to step into.

And by refusing to listen to them, we end up stuck in situations that are in neither the US's nor Israel's long-term interests, such as Iraq and the Palestinian Territories, without an exit strategy.

original articles here and here

Letter to the NY Times that Wasn't Published, Part Deux

To the editor:

What does a brother have to do to get a letter published?

Worst Ever?

At least according to the American people... 71% of them.

[INSERT ALFRED E. NEUMAN PICTURE HERE]

according to a CNN/Opinion Research Corp. survey

Nelson Mandela-- Terrorist

At least according to the US government!

Read it here

'Til Death (or Politics) Do Us Part

Well, Obama is now in the midst of a messy divorce from the Reverend Jeremiah Wright. As tough as it must have been to do, he had to do it. Unfortunately, the issues this association has raised aren't just going to disappear... indeed, this is just the kind of thing Hillary's campaign has been hanging around for, after insinuations (including pictures) suggesting that Obama may or may not be Muslim and Geraldine Ferraro and Bill C. trying to marginalize him as a black candidate.

We can see how living through the hypocrisy of Jim Crow could make someone disillusioned to the point where they WOULD believe the US would spread AIDS in the black community, and how the combination of being highly educated (as Wright is... and seems anxious to demonstrate) with the above skepticism probably could lead said person to believe some of the out-of-the-mainstream things he has read, and being a pastor spreading the word of God could lead one to an over-important view of oneself and one's views of the world, and take the whole locomotive off a cliff.

Recall our "(Dis)Qualifying Question" for the presidency.

The sad thing is, the valid points Wright does have (on America's chickens, its racist history, and the Palestinians) are discredited when lumped together with his wackier views.

Windfall Profits Tax... Rebate?

Now Hillary has come out to support John McCain's idea of suspending the federal excise tax on gas over the summer, which would save consumers 18.4 cents per gallon, or, for the average consumer, about $30 all told. Obama has taken the proverbial high road, viewing this as a “short-term, quick-fix” proposal that would take away money needed for roads and bridges. While his position is supported by most environmentalists and energy analysts, which way do you think Joe Lunchpail is going to go on this one?

Th-th-th-that's politics, folks!

Hillary's Inner Republican

see above... and below. After all, she was a "Goldwater girl"!

Corn Palaces

These gas prices are having a ripple effect on food prices as well, due to our increasing reliance on ethanol. Once seen as a way to combat the "inconvenient truth" of global warming, a recent study in Science magazine concluded that greenhouse-gas emissions from corn and even cellulosic ethanol (whatever that is) "exceed or match those from fossil fuels and therefore produce no greenhouse benefits."

We wrote the above without knowing where the candidates stand. Read the next posting to see where they do.

original article: Siphoning Off Corn to Fuel Our Cars

Two Flip-Floppers and a Microphone

Hillary: "The fact is that when we first had an occasion to vote on ethanol back in the early part of my term, I voted on behalf of my constituents. There was very credible evidence, that it would, if all we did was subsidize ethanol in the middle of the country, raise gas prices on both coasts which would have directly driven up the cost in New York and I didn't think that would be a good idea for a senator from New York and what I have been pleased about and I had a role in this, was to create a much broader base for ethanol. We now have ethanol plants in New York and so the idea that you would have only one part of the country and the transportation cost would be quite expensive because of the way ethanol has to be transported, is no longer a factor. So, I happily support corn ethanol, all forms of ethanol, research for cellulosic ethanol, biodiesel."


Obama: "I've been a strong supporter of ethanol. Corn-based ethanol is a transitional technology."

McCain 2003: "Ethanol is a product that would not exist if Congress didn't create an artificial market for it. No one would be willing to buy it," McCain said in November 2003. "Yet thanks to agricultural subsidies and ethanol producer subsidies, it is now a very big business - tens of billions of dollars that have enriched a handful of corporate interests - primarily one big corporation, ADM. Ethanol does nothing to reduce fuel consumption, nothing to increase our energy independence, nothing to improve air quality."

McCain, 2006 edition: "I support ethanol and I think it is a vital, a vital alternative energy source not only because of our dependency on foreign oil but its greenhouse gas reduction effects."

Ah, politics...

Talking to (Y)our Enemies

Good move by Obama, in our eyes, in sitting down to talk with Fox News today. For one, we hear that some of their viewers still cling to religion and guns. For another, whatever you think of Fox, he'd already said he'd speak to Mahmoud Ahmadinejad....