As you may have read, the military junta of Myanmar (the country formerly known as Burma®) is cracking down on dissidents after weeks of widespread protests. Kicked off in reaction to spiking oil prices (food for thought), these protests have been led by tens of thousands of monks in their saffron-colored robes, escorted by hand-holding Burmese who have been growing bolder by the day. These people have been subject to the brutality and incompetence of the current regime for almost 20 years, which itself is the outgrowth of Ne Win and his honchos who filled the vacuum left by English colonial rule. Yes, you pale, pinched-nose types, it all comes back to you.
Anyway, we were in Burma in 1996, which was supposed to be “Visit Myanmar Year,” but the government never quite got its act together. This government is one of the most brutal and incompetent ever witnessed in the modern world. Supposedly, Ne Win once had a dream about driving on the opposite side of the road, and put it into law the following day—the commute was a little hectic for some time there as word filtered down to the people. He was also fond of the number “9,” and most of the bills had some connection to it (such as the 45-kyat note). Now, there had been a 50-kyat note, but this also was outlawed overnight. Of course, the people in the know (and in the government) were able to change their bills ahead of time, but woe to the rest (as Elmer Fudd would say).
While we were there we heard the story of another American who bore a faint resemblance to Chuck Norris. After a while, he started to sign in as Ted Norris, Chuck’s younger brother. Eventually, he was pulled aside by members of SLORC, the Draconian-named secret police, and asked what his intentions were in Burma. You see, they had seen the “Missing in Action” series, and wanted to make sure he wasn’t planning similar carnage in Myanmar.
Outside of SLORC and the military, the Burmese were among the friendliest people we had ever met, largely because they hadn’t been tainted by tourism. We remember a fellow on the street sewing up a hole in our backpack and having to insist on him accepting our payment. We did our part to rebel against the government, sneaking past the officially-inflated money-changers at the airport and the entrance-fee-chargers at the temples like Bagan—we could legitimize this, see, because we knew that all revenues were going to this corrupt government. We also went to Aung San Suu Kyi’s house to hear her speak from the gates—they tried this for a little while—and could sense the power of her presence and her words, even if we couldn’t understand them. When we sent some pictures home, they made us take out the ones of her.
We hope this groundswell of the masses can be bolstered by international pressure so that the Burmese people can get the “Freedom From Fear” that Aung San Suu Kyi has written about. In this call, we salute President Bush, who has condemned the oppressive government and called for increased international cooperation and a tightening of sanctions. Yes, you read that correctly: we are supporting President Bush in his advocacy for the spread of democracy— in this case, at least. We are waiting for the pigs to fly out of our ass.
