BAD-A**
This is old-school, but consider the PG-rated alternatives before the latest linguistic renaissance. Just plain, “That is bad,” just doesn’t seem to cut it, and as for “gnarly,” “dope,” “fly,” and “jiggy”...
UGLY-A**: really ugly
as in O.J. Simpson describing the Bruno Magli shoes he supposedly never wore: “I wouldn’t wear those ugly-a** shoes.” Compare it to the alternative, “I wouldn’t wear those ugly shoes” or “I wouldn’t wear those clodhoppers.”
DUMB-A**
“Don’t be a dumb-a**,” as opposed to, “Don’t be a dumb fellow” or “Don’t be a nincompoop.”
LAME-A**
Better than “LAME-O”
(To quote the esteemed editor of Opium Magazine, “I'm wondering about the lame-a** one, though. Seems too easy.” What he wanted to say: “Don’t be bringin’ me none of that f***ed up lame-a** sh**!”)
See also sorry-a**, weak-a**
PUNK-A**
As in, “Shut up, you punk-a** b****.” Tell me a better way to put down a whiny guy who is annoying you.
BIG-A**
very big, as in, “Check out that big-a** booty with 2 capital ‘O’s!” Alternative: “Look at that pronounced derriere.”
In sum, if your language needs increased emphasis, we urge you “back that up with an a**.” Show ‘em what you’re workin’ with.
As for conjunctions, like Sir Mix-A-Lot, we like BIG BUTS.
We hope to continue this series with more words that celebrate the hindquarters and make our language more succinct. Professor, what’s another name for pirate treasure?
posted originally at opiummagazine.com
